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IL Duce Perry Saves The World-Stops Global Warming Cold

Today, Texas Governor IL Duce Perry saved the world by issuing an “Executive Order”
(Oh No! here we go again.) stating that there is no such thing as Global Warming.

“In the state of Perryland we will no longah’ be influenced by the dut bag liberal
scontists and their co-conspiratahs of the press and Ah’ suggest that the rest
of my empiah oops, heh, heh, heh did I say my empiah? Heh, heh. Of course Ah’ meant
to say our country, do the same.”

“Thank God” said Minnesota Senator Michelle Bachman, staring whistfully worshipfully from the front row, “I was almost believing in that Global Warming bunk.”

IL Duce Perry stepped to the corner of the stage and said loudly for all to hear, “You
don’t have to thank me little lady. Ahm just dooin’ my job.”

IL Duce was now strutting back and forth across the stage; hands on hips; chin
pushed forward. “Global Warming Eh? I say we don’t need Global Warmin’ he-ah
and Ah’ say we will not allow it he-ah. We’ve always been warm he-ah in
Perryland and we will always be warm.”

“I’d say you are downright “HOT” Governor” yelled the respected Senator and
Tea Party supporter from Minnesota. “Oooooooooooh, Muy Caliente IL Duce Baby; Muy Muy
Caliente.”

“If we let these rumahs spread; before you know it they’ll have the whole country
warm and then who will come to this little piece a’ heaven.” “Whooose
,,,,,,,,,,,,gonna come to Perryland if they can swim off the beach in Maine in
Febrary and eat lobstah every evenin’” “No! It sim-play will not do.”

“So, Ah’ have decided to issue an o-fficial, Ex-ecutive Ordah. As of today at 3 pm,
there will no longer be anything known as Global Warmin’; at least not he-ah in
Perryland.” “Now if the people in the rest of the country would just come to
see that Medi-ca-ah, Social Security, Food Banks and Health Clinics are just
not what my Slush Fund needs………….. And if IL Duce Perry’s Slush Fund is low,
how can he afford to buy his new cars and pay for his massages?………….And
if IL Duce can’t pay for his opulent lifestyle,,,,,,,, how can you expect him
to be in a mood to create all those jobs for the vera fair minimum wage that
the little people are always clamoring about?”

“Ha! Answer those perfectly reasonable questions if you can.”

“Of course, you can’t.”

“The answer is that you can’t expect me to do these things and Ah’ have no desire to
do so anyway”

“So I will not do those things. Their just poor people. And as we know, the Low-Born
don’t really want to work anyway.”

“And since they don’t feel pain like we do, they have no need for clinics and health
insurance. All they really need is the vera’ reasonable $255.00 Social Security
Death benefit to pay for burnin’ up they corpse.”

““Why, some of the latest resuch’ bein’ done right here in Perryland at the Eichmann Institute
suggests that the Low-Born may not be able to see themselves in the mirra’, see
colors, or tell the difference between a Republican Presidential Candidate and
a liyin’, cheatin’, scam ah-tist with a penchant for sufferin’ and death.”

“No, Ah’ will not create anything for the
worthless lower class. But what Ah’ wiiiill do if the people will elect
me to be their IL Duce, their Presidente, their Little Corporal is Ah’ will
extend my Executive Ordah’ to include all of the Nation and thus Global Warmin’
will be a thing of the past and you can all stop worryin’ about your footprints
and your factory emissions and such like.”

“Afta’ all; Republicans don’t have to live near the factories or the toxic chemical
dumps so why should we worry about it?”

“And all this fuss about air pollution…….Well, Ah’can assure you that the air that is
breathed by your heroic Tea Party Republicans is far too rarified to be affected by the toxic fumes and cinders from the homes and factories where these low class vermin live.”

IL Duce strolled over to a small table in the rear corner of the stage. He delicately
picked up the pot sitting there and gently poured himself a cup of his favorite
beverage…………………………scalding hot Assam Tea.
He raised the cup to the throng and said in his best Perryland accent, “Bay-nay!
Bay-nay!” (that’s “Bene” for those of us who have evolved enough to move our
tongue when we speak.)

The crowd began to chant “IL Duce! IL Duce! IL Duce! Thus proving themselves to be
mainly a group of Conservative Republicans, willing to believe anything Rick Perry
tells them as long as they don’t have to give up any of their ill gotten gains.

And the good Senator from Minnesota just stood and quivered with excitement and the
raw sexual tension that men of power and cruelty always create.

A man standing nearby stepped over and said, “Senator; if you was wantn’ to thank
God, you better hurry before he gets off the stage.”

As Senator Bachman turned to find IL Duce, she let out a vicious growl, and
pointing to an obviously lost middle aged woman with glasses, a ponytail and
wearing a suit of buckskin and a coon-skin cap and began screaming at her, “Sarah
Palin; you two bit, bear humping bitch. You just keep away from my Duce. He’s my
benevolent dictator.”

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